


A thrillion Memories

by Apollynos



Series: Lamen Week 2020 [3]
Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Angst, Bad Ending, Concept Album turned into Fanfic, Drone War, Fluff and Angst, Inspired by a Muse Song, Lots of Angst, M/M, Muse (Band) References, Overlong Songfiction, Post-Apocalypse, drones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:07:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24947359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Apollynos/pseuds/Apollynos
Summary: “Your lips feel warm; your words seem so alive. Your skin is warm when I touch it…”Laurent took a step back.Damen got an uncomfortable feeling with the situation.“You know; I’ll control and hypnotize”, Laurent said with a low voice.“What?” Damen asked confused.
Relationships: Damen/Laurent (Captive Prince)
Series: Lamen Week 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1804357
Kudos: 4
Collections: Lamen Week 2020





	A thrillion Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Day 07 of the Lamen Week, todays Prompt - Angst. :)
> 
> *
> 
> Decided to turn an old FanFic of mine into an overlong One Shot - But I think it's better this way.  
> Anyway, the whole thing is based on the concept Album "Drones" from Muse, so to follow this One Shot, let the Album run in the background ;)

**Arles, 2031**

Damen couldn’t believe his eyes. He had sent a million prayers to heaven at that time and hoped that he would see him again someday. See him again in a good health. See him again living.

So that he could see into the light of his eyes again.

But there was nothing like that in his eyes anymore.

No light in those bright blue eyes.

Those eyes which were used to look at Damen with so much love and life in them.

Those eyes as blue as the ocean in which Damen could have drowned.

Damen carefully took a few steps towards Laurent. It was him. He was sure about that. It has to be him. Even if he looked different then the last time they had saw each other.

The last time he saw him before Damen had to left him.

Laurent…

His lover.

The man he thought he had lost when he joined the army back then, while Damen had to go back to his homeland.

And now he was standing here. In front of him.

Cold blue eyes, raging like an ocean. Wavy blonde hair framing his elegant, sharp face.

“Laurent?”

“Don’t call me by my name, stranger!”

Damens eyes widened in disbelief. His voice sounded so distant yet so sharp. For a moment he was no longer sure whether this man was really Laurent or whether his mistook him for Laurent.

But this had to be Laurent.

It has to be him.

He’d recognize him over and over again.

Always.

Even in death he would recognize him.

But to Damen… Laurent seemed different.

_Do you have no soul? It’s like it died long ago._

The two men were separated by only a few centimeters now and carefully Damen leaned to him.

Their lips touched softly.

Laurents lips still felt warm against his own. Damen didn’t know why he was doing this. He might try to bring him back to life with this small action.

Damen opened his eyes during the tender kiss. Laurent looked at him.

_He’s dead inside._

Damen broke away from Laurent and took a step back. “Laurent what happened to you?”

At first Laurent looked at him. His eyes were dull, but Damen could see that something was moving in those blue dead looking eyes.

He hoped he would remember him. He hoped he would tell him what happened to him.

“You… You were free. You were free and you left me”, Laurent began to stammer, his voice sounded controlled but Damen could see him trembling. His body was so tense.

“You were free while I was crushed and pulverized. I… I needed someone but you… you were not there for me. So I needed the control… But at what cost? I was the one who had to let you go. I can’t really remember you or the person I used to be”, Laurent continued saying, his voice was still cold, controlled and somehow mechanical. He lowered his head; he raised his hand and pressed it against his temple. He looked like he was hit by memories.

Damen looked at him in pain, his brown eyes filled with emotions as he looked at the fight Laurent seemed to have with himself.

Damen wondered what had happened when he left him years ago.

What happened to his Laurent?

Who made him what he was now?

“I had to give him infinity. I’ve got nothing left. You had no cares and I’m bereft.” Laurent’s voice cracked a little. Damen couldn’t figure out any sense from his words but what he could hear out of it was the fact that Laurent was broken.

Damen reached out his hand to him and stroked his arm, the blue military jacket he was wearing felt warm. He let his hand sink along his arm and reached for his hand, his skin feels warm in his grip.

Damen sought eye contact with Laurent.

He saw magic in his blue eyes. Magic that seemed to return slowly.  
But Laurent was dead inside.

Laurent slowly set himself into motion. He rushed towards Damen and hugged him tight.

“Do you feel me now? Hold me, please. I need to find out who I really am”, he mumbled against Damen’s skin. Damen was surprised by his actions and his words. He still couldn’t figure out anything from it but he put his arms around the slender body from Laurent and gently stroked with his hand over his back.

“I’ll help you. I promise. You just have to open up to me. What happened to you? Please, don’t hide from me. It hurts to see you like this”, Damen whispered low into his ear.

“Only you can stop the pain, Damen”, Laurent simply said.

Damen felt his heart racing against his chest. Laurent could remember his name. He was so glad about this.

He seems to know who he was.

“Don’t leave me in the cold again. Don’t leave me out to die again”, Laurent begged.

“I promise, I won’t leave you again”, Damen said to him.

Laurent hugged him tighter. Then he whispered, “I gave him everything. I can’t give him any more. I’ve just become like him.”

Damen let go of Laurent for a moment and looked at him in astonishment, then he asked, “Who are you talking about Laurent?”

Instead of an answer, Laurent had leaned into him and given him a tender kiss on his lips.

“Your lips feel warm; your words seem so alive. Your skin is warm when I touch it…”

Laurent took a step back.

Damen got an uncomfortable feeling with the situation.

“You know; I’ll control and hypnotize”, Laurent said with a low voice.

“What?” Damen asked confused.

Laurent took a gun out of his holster and aimed the barrel of it between Damens eyes. He unlocked the gun in this movement.

“He taught me to lie without a trace and kill with no remorse.”

Damen froze.

He couldn’t move any further.

What happened here?

Why did Laurent say that?

He still looks at Laurent who shot him a cool gaze. His face was like a mask but his voice was shaking as he said the other words.

“On the outside I’m the greatest guy.”

Laurents finger pulled the trigger.

The bullet went off.

Damens sight turned black.

“Now I’m dead inside.”

*

„If you do not do what you’re told to do, when you’re told to do it you will be punished, do you understand?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“So if you leave my base again without proper authorization, I will hunt you down and throw your ass in jail. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Go.”

Damens head hurt as he woke up from the loud voices. Slowly he opened his eyes, which miserably failed to get used to the bright light. It was just way too bright here.

Was he dead? Was that how death feels and looks like?

And who the heck was talking so loud?

He was remembering something. He remembered that someone, no, Laurent had pointed a gun at him and pulled the trigger… He should be dead, he was sure about this.

So this was the end of this? Was this the afterlife?  
Does it look like that?

Empty?

Cold?

Somehow bright?

With loud voices around yourself?

“Love… It will get you nowhere. It didn’t lead you anywhere either; you were on your own. Lost in the wild, until you came back to me, because he left you.”

Damen was confused about these words. Who spoke there?

He tried to clear his sight. His vision was still blurred but he could make out contours. The contours of a man who must be standing right in front of him.

“I could use someone like you, someone who kills on my command and doesn’t ask questions.”

The man’s voice sounded calm but somehow threatening.

Damen would like to ask some questions, he would like to have some answers, he would like to know where he was here, who was talking to him or who was in the room with him at all.

But his own voice didn’t really obey him yet, just as little as the rest of his body.

At least his vision had already cleared up, he recognized the man near him a little better now. He had dark brown hair, a severe sharp-edged face, cool calculated blue eyes and a trimmed beard.  
The man smiled warmly at him.

Damen bit his teeth together, his jaw tightens, and then he saw something moving undecidedly in the background. It was Laurent.

Damen would recognize him over and over again. He was still wearing the dark blue military jacket, only now he noticed the many lacings on it and the smaller gold and black patterns. His gaze continued to glide over the body of his… former lover. His black pants were dusty and the boots looked as if they had seen better days before. But all in all, he still looks elegant and beautiful.

Just like he used to look.

But then Damen noticed something else.

In his hand he held a whip…

Wrong. He didn’t hold it; he clasped it tightly into his grip.

“Are you a human drone?” The man asked and turned to Laurent a little. His voice was still calm and had that threatening undertone.

“Yes, Sir.”

“Are you a killing machine?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Then tell me why this man is still alive?”

Damen noticed how Laurent flinched slightly at the way the man called him out on it and struggled with himself for an answer, “I….”

“Silence. I got the say here, understood, and you got to do what I tell you, got it?” The man said harsh.

“Yes, Sir.”

The man walked towards Laurent, stroking his cheek gently and leaning forward to him, whispering into Laurents ear something that Damen couldn’t hear.

But the way Laurent reacted couldn’t mean anything good.

With a simple hand movement, the man finally sent Laurent away.

“The human mind is fascinating, you know? With the right means, it’s easy to break it.”

Damens eyes narrowed dangerously.

“Your mind is also just a program and I am a virus. I’ll change your stations and improve your thresholds.”

Damens blood rushed through his veins. Angrily his heart hammered faster and faster against his chest.

“I will turn you also into a super drone and you will kill on my command. And I won’t be responsible.”

Damen grinded his teeth.

“Do you mean with that the same way you did it with Laurent?” Damen’s voice trembled with rage. His whole body was on the line.

“That was an easy one to make him what he is now.” The man said dangerously calm.

“Liar. Laurent would never give in so easily”, Damen snapped.

“Are you sure about that?” The man smiled disastrously, “I just made him into this.”  
“You broke him!” Damen shouted.

“Nuh-Uh. That wasn’t my doing that was only yours. You were the one who broke him; thanks to me he became now the man he is; a human super drone. A ruthless killer who kills on my command.”

Damen jumped up, only to be torn back to the ground shortly afterwards. Painful, he groaned.

“Foolish stupid human”, the man said mockingly.

Damen breathed in and out deeply. Only now he noticed the stabbing pain in his right shoulder.

Laurent hadn’t shot his head. He shot him into the shoulder. There must have been something in the bullet that knocked him out pretty fast, because normally he wouldn’t pass out directly from such a wound as he did back then.

And then it doomed to Damen. Laurent should’ve killed him, that was the conversation earlier, but Laurent didn’t kill him.

He risks his own safety to safe Damens life somehow.

Why did Laurent do that?

Damen thought about what the man and Laurent were talking about earlier.

What the man told him.

What Laurent tried to tell him?

It clicked in Damens head. The two dialogues connected in his brain and he now knew what he has to do. It was better to join in and play along this psycho game.

Maybe he’d make it out of it alive.

“Are you a psycho killer, say “I’m a psycho killer!”” the man demanded from him.

“I’m a psycho killer”, Damen responded to it.

“Scream it!”

“I’m a psycho-killer!”, Damen repeated loudly.

“Show me your war face!”

Damen shot him an angry gaze and shouted, just as he had learned it in his time in the military-base.

That seemed to satisfy the man, because he smiled at him.

“I’m gonna make you. I’m gonna break you. I’m gonna make you a fucking psycho”, he spoke to him and turned away from Damen.

Damen lowered his gaze.

Sending prayers to heaven.

Maybe they will have mercy on him.

“You belong to me now.”

*

Unnoticed Laurent had gotten into the room where Damen had been accommodated at night. He had shut down the surveillance systems in and around the room. He must be able to talk to Damen without anyone recording about what they were talking in private.

Good for him was also that his uncle was still out with some of his people for dinner and from experience he knew that this always took a little time.

On average, he still had four hours alone with Damen.

“Damen?” Laurent asked quietly into the room.

But he wouldn’t receive an answer.

Laurent hurt this a bit but he could understand it, he closed the door behind him and stepped closer into the room where Damen was sitting on the bed and looked into the mirrored window next to him.

Laurent stopped a few steps away from the bed and gathered all his courage together, he knew he hadn’t necessarily shown his best side at their reunion but he had to do it, it was the only way to safe Damen, and letting him understand what was at stake right now.

He was desperately looking for suitable words to explain to Damen what had happened; what was going on and what will happen…

Laurent really hoped he’d listen to him but he need to find a start, something to catch Damen’s interest again.

He breathed deeply in and out, and said, “Help me…”

They were two simple words. Two words that cost him all his strength, but they seemed to have an effect. Damen listened up and turned his head in his direction, giving him a small questioning look out of his brown loving eyes.

“I’ve fallen on the inside. I tried to change the game… I tried to infiltrate it but now I seem to lose everything”, Laurent continue explaining somehow.

He could see how Damens eyes softened and he looked at him in sadness. It hurt him as much as Laurent.

To see them both as the broken, helpless two lovers, they were right now.

“The man in the coat always seems to run the show.” Laurent smiled tormented and he felt a tear coming out of the corner of his eye. He hadn’t cried in a long time…

“Save me from the ghosts and shadows before they eat my soul…”, his voice trembled with every word he said.

“Tell me how I can save you? How am I supposed to help you?” Damen’s voice asked him softly.

Laurent looked up and noticed that Damen had stood up and was now standing right in front of him, raising his hand and laying it against his cheek. He stroked his cheekbone gently with his thumb and strokes away the tears. Laurent closed his eyes and leaned into the tender touch.

He missed it so much.

No…

He’d missed him.

He missed Damen.

He leaned on his tiptoes and gave Damen a gentle tender kiss on his lips.

“Mercy, show me mercy from the powers that be. The world has become a cruel place, Damen. Absent gods and silent tyranny. We’re going under, hypnotized by another puppeteer”, Laurent spoke again in slight panic, heat rushing up his cheeks as he looked up again at Damen.

“What does that mean?” he asked.

“Work with me. We can try to make it out of here, that’s what I realized when you kissed me on our reunion. It moved something inside me, and I finally realize something. It was mercy; you showed me mercy with it. You still believed in me. You helped me. I’m begging you for it. Help me, work with me”, Laurent pleads again.

“How? Tell me how. I promise I’ll do anything but tell me how?” Damen demanded to know.

“The man wants to bring you down. Tomorrow… On a field. He’ll have you hunted; he wants me to watch him do my job. I should have killed you but I couldn’t… I… I just… I failed him. I failed you a long time ago, too”, Laurent tried to explain the whole messed up situation they were in, but he couldn’t find the right words as it seemed. Helplessly he let his shoulder drop.

“It’s okay Laurent. Everything’s all right. I will help you, we will do this.” Damens voice was warm and caring. Laurent could no longer suppress his emotions and he began to cry. His body trembled and his cheeks wetted from the tears.

Damens eyes looked him in pain and he leaned forward again to Laurent, kissing him soft on his lips again. They both put all their emotions into this kiss, it tasted salty and sad but also hopeful and loving.

“I’m with you, Laurent”, Damen whispered against his lips.

“Show me mercy”, Laurent replied and broke away.

He took a step back and looked at Damen. His emotions were going wild; it was just too much for him. After all these years feeling so much again, he had almost forgotten how it was. He felt like he was drowning in a sea of emotions, in the water of his soul.

“I want you Damen. I want to feel you. I want to be close to you. I need you.”

_For one last time…_

The words hung between them in the air and Laurent began to believe that Damen didn’t really understand what his point was. With shaking fingers he unlaces the collar of his shirt and pulled it over his head, then carelessly dropped it to the ground.

His upper body was pale and strewn with small fine scars. Damen looked at him and stretched out his hand to him, his warm pointed fingers caressing tenderly over the scars and Laurent flinched slightly at the touch.

“You’re still so beautiful”, Damen whispered low.

“Thank you.”

Laurent could feel Damen’s lips all over his upper body; they left a pleasant tingling sensation on his skin and a warm feeling spread in his stomach. He sighed aroused under Damen and moved his hips gently against his, while his fingernails dug deeper into Damens back as he found a spot on his neck and paid particular attention to it. He felt Damens teeth tenderly on his skin as he sucked on it and how it sent a comforting shiver down his spine.

He felt Damen lowering his hands and opening his pants, he pushing them off Laurent’s legs and slid between them as Laurent blindly tried to open Damens belt to get to the button of his pants.

Laurent had missed the warm feeling of Damen’s skin on his own. He had missed Damen sinking into him and at the same time he distracted him with smaller kisses onto his body. Laurent’s hand looked for Damen’s, he grabbed it and crossed their fingers, while he wrapped his legs tighter around Damen’s lower back and pulled him deeper into himself.

The room was filled with hoarse moans and skin touching skin.

“I love you Damen. I love you so much”, Laurent breathed out hoarse.

“I love you too, Laurent”, Damen replied with a soft moan.

It didn’t take long and Laurent moaned Damen’s name loudly when he came and a little later Damen followed deep inside him. Laurent could feel how Damen fills him and he let out an aroused small moan as he did so.

They kept still afterwards, gave each other time and looked into each other eyes.

Deep blue meets dark golden-brown.

Laurent smiled slightly at this sight and leans up to kiss Damen again. The kiss was loving and tender, showing both of them how much they love each other, while Damen withdrew from Laurent and left an empty cold feeling in him.

“Unfortunately I won’t be able to stay any longer, I think he’ll be back soon”, Laurent said sadly and tried to sit up slowly.

“I know… but tomorrow, we’ll be together again, right?” Damen asked.

“Right.”

Laurent got up and put on his pants again, put his shirt back over his head and looked at Damen.

“Promise me you’ll stay alive tomorrow until I can step in. I don’t know when I can… but…<<

“I promise, don’t worry, I am good at staying alive”, Damen said winking.

“I know.” Laurent smiled at him and catch one last kiss from Damen before he left the room.

He was afraid because of tomorrow. He hoped it all will work out. He hoped so damn that it will all work out.

_Show me mercy from the killing machines… Show me mercy, can somebody rescue me?_ _  
  
_

*

The next day Damen found himself quite quickly on an open field. At least the area he was standing looked like an open field. He didn’t know how far it would really go, but as he could guess, far enough to put his condition to the test.

But the man seemed to have forgotten that Damen was well trained. Trained for long, seemingly endless runs.

He still was a soldier.

A well trained soldier.

Home… It shot him through his mind. It looks like home and it will become a killing field.

Something glowing red attracted his attention and Damen looked down at himself.

There’s a crosshair locked on his heart.

He swallowed hard.

He had to stay alive, that’s what he promised. He promised it to Laurent.

But what was the best way to stay alive when a drone was hovering above you? No one was behind the wheel and you threatened to wipe it out with a hellfire.

He was sure he wouldn’t have long to stay, so he set himself in motion and ran off instinctively.  
He ran as far and as long as his legs would carry him.

Until he could find a way out.

Until Laurent intervened as he promised.

And in the meantime, he had to be careful not to get killed by the drones.

Laurent on the other hand had stepped into the room behind his Uncle, who was sitting on his black chair looking into the screen in front of him.

“Have you finally come to see how to execute a job correctly?” his Uncle asked.

Laurent stayed silent. He crossed his arms behind his back and stood up straight, looking deliberately into the screen to follow the drone’s transmission.

You rule with lies and deceit. The world is on your side because you have the power. But all you did was brutalize, Laurent thought to himself and breathed in deeply.

He saw Damen running off and time just started ticking.

Damen had to stay alive, he promised it and only then if he did, the two of them could get out of here.

“He’s pretty fast”, Laurent’s Uncle commented and pressed the joystick to let the drone fly lower and steer closer to Damen’s direction in a fast movement.

Laurent knew how his uncle ticked; he would hunt Damen until he would give up out of exhaustion.

But his uncle didn’t seem to appreciate Damen very much. Laurent knew what endurance Damen had and that was good, that would buy him some time and would bore his uncle. It would bore him so much that he could intervene and his plan worked out with that.

The war had shifted up a gear, Damen thought to himself as he ran on and on and the drone came closer and closer but always at such a distance that he didn’t think he would get killed directly.

At least he hoped so. It was difficult to figure out the thoughts of something not human on his heels, thirsting for his life.

What kind of freaky concept was that, anyway?

What perverted warfare is this?

But the further Damen ran and the drone was on this neck, the less sure he was that he could handle the truth about this.

He felt like a pawn. Pawns were all expandable and could easy get electronically wiped out by drones.

That’s basically what he got about this whole drone war strategy, since the war started.

As far as one could even speak of a war strategy, because in his opinion, the use of drones was unfair.

The drone came closer again and flew so much lower this time. The red glow appeared before Damens eyes as he turned around to estimate the distance between him and the drone.

Killed by drones… That couldn’t be the end. He promised it.

Laurent held his breath as his uncle dangerously get close to Damen and aimed at him again. Damen who had turned around looked up at least as surprised that the drone control seems too had changed.

You kill by remote control without batting an eyelid and you don’t even feel responsible for it. The world is on your side, you’ve also got reapers and hawks, Laurent thought and gathered all his courage before he took a step forward and cleared his throat, as he speak, “Uncle? Isn’t it slowly boring to hunt him down like that?”

“Actually not, unless you have a better suggestion?” his uncle said.

“I … It was my job, I messed it up, how about we surprise him? You hunt him with your drone, distract him and confuse him and I go into the field and shoot him directly face to face, like I should have done it long before”, Laurent then suggested to him. He spoke down the words as if he had been rehearsing them for so long, even if it hurts deep down his heart to say such a horrible thing.

His uncle didn’t move at first, than his shoulders shook slightly. He seemed amused about it.

“These are completely new sounds from you. But well, I accept the offer, show me that I didn’t do anything wrong in your process to turn you into a killing machine. Go.”

Laurent nodded and moved quickly out of the room.

Relieved that his plan initially worked out, he didn’t waste any more time and ran fast towards the field to search for Damen.

He didn’t have much time. He knew his uncle.

He’d give him a time window.

He finally ruled with lies and deceit. So as if he would wait until Laurent had really reached Damen.

They both would die.

Laurent accelerated his pace, pulled his gun out of the holster and unlocked it already. He kept running out into the vast area when he could spot his uncle’s drone and a few steps further Damen was running up the stairs, which seemed to be playing badly with his stamina after all.

“Hold on Damen”, Laurent whispers to himself and ran over to him.

Damen’s breathing had become a little more unsteady in the meantime. His stamina had lasted a long time but now that he was running up the stairs, he noticed how badly it had all played out for him.

How long has he been here? How long did the drone fly after him?

He didn’t know and Damen felt like he had to surrender soon.

Arriving on the platform, he struggled for air and when he heard another sound behind him – a sound not coming from a drone, he turned around just to be confronted directly with the barrel of a gun.

He was a little startled and stumbled backwards.

Didn’t quite understand why Laurent stood in front of him and aimed at him. Again.

Behind him Damen could hear the rotating engine of the drone.

He was surrounded.

Surrounded by drones.

_So here come the drones…_

Laurent’s gaze narrowed and his eyes tried to speak to Damen, to calm him down, to make him realize that nothing would happen to him as long as he stand there.

He saw the drone come to a standstill behind Damen and float in the air low. The drone’s camera moved as if it wanted to speak well to him to finally destroy Damen.

Laurent pulled the trigger on the gun and fired.

The bullet unerringly hit the drone’s camera. He was rushing at Damen and throwing him to the ground with himself as the drone fired.

“We have to get away from here quickly, come on, I know the way out!” Laurent shouted at him.

He quickly hoisted himself back on his feet and pulled Damen with him, he knew Damen was no longer able to run away and that he was exhausted, but this was not the right time to go limp. He took Damen by the hand and ran with him over another staircase, he knew where the area ended and he also knew what would await him there, because his uncle wasn’t stupid.

The closer they came to the “Exit” the louder Laurent could hear them.

_Here come the drones…_

Laurent ran straight towards the door found at the end of the area and opened it just to face three drones.

They flew low and spotted him, the cross hair aimed onto his chest with red light.

His gaze hardened furiously and he aimed his gun at the cameras of the drones in front of him. He no longer wanted to run away from his uncle and be in obedience and if he wanted to kill Laurent he had to come up with more than tree drones to kill him.

“You”, Laurent pressed out between his narrow lips, “You were my oppressor. And I… I’ve been programmed to obey.”

His voice trembled and became louder with every word. The drones in front of him were still hovering in the same place, aiming at his heart.

Laurent remained silent. Thought carefully about his next words. He knew his uncle was sitting behind the screens, he was controlling the remote control and he knew that he would listen to Laurent. He just had to keep up the conversation and tell him, what he first wants to hear.

He still has a plan.

A mission to fulfill.

He needs to get out of here.

With Damen.

Alive.

“And now… now you’re my handler. And I, I will execute your commands.”

The drones lowered their weapons but the cross hair is still over his heart.

His uncle won’t hesitate to fire at him, so Laurent wasn’t allowed to do something wrong now.

One mistake and he will die.

One mistake and Damen will die, too.

“Laurent?” Damen stretched out his hand to him. Laurent breathed sharply in and knocked his hand away.

“No. Leave me.” He looked at him out of cool blue eyes, tried to make him understand that the game wasn’t over. He had to play along, or he’d endanger both their lives with this.

“I must disassociate from you.” Because that’s the only way we can get out of here unharmed… he added in his thoughts.

He looked back at the drones in front of him and stretched out his arm with his pistol in his hand, holding the barrel of the weapon blindly to Damen’s forehead.

“Behold my transformation. And you’re empowered to do as you please”, Laurent continue speaking.

Then he unlocked the gun.

Laurent was still looking at the drones that hadn’t moved since he spoke through them to his uncle.

So he really seemed to be listening. And maybe he enjoys the little show.

It makes him feeling good, to see how Laurent stands under his control.

But he was foolish to think so…

Laurent now only had to hope that Damen wouldn’t act impulsively. He had to trust him, only then they would be able to gain their freedom.

“My mind was lost in translation and my heart has become a cold and impassive machine.”

  
It was like he was giving Damen a confession his uncle already knew about.

After all, he was his oppressor, the reaper, the man with the power who made him what he was now.

He swallowed hard, his hand trembled uncontrollably and he felt Damen putting his hand over Laurent’s, who clasped the trigger dangerously. _No Damen… Please._

“Leave me alone! I must disassociate from you!” Laurent hissed the words dangerously loud and he felt Damen immediately let go of his hand and back off.

It hurts Laurent to speak to Damen like this.

It really hurts him.

But he needed to do this.

He knew Damen would trust him. He had given him mercy and shows this to him. He’d just have to hold on for a second.

He needs to keep up this show for his uncle.

Laurent ripped his head up resolutely, removed the barrel of the gun in a quick fluid motion from Damen’s head and aimed it in the direction of the hearts of the drones.

Now or never.

“I won’t let you control my feelings anymore”, Laurent said.

He aimed.

He shot.

One drone went down.

“And I will no longer do as I am told.”

The second drone went down.

“And I am no longer afraid to walk alone!”

The third drone also aimed but Laurent was faster and fired.

He looked at Damen who watched him stunned.

“I told you I’d get us out of here. Come on”, Laurent simply said and stuck the gun back into the holster and run forward through the passage, he knew a back way through which they could get outside.

The real outside.

“Who do you think you are?” The voice of his uncle shot trough the room, as a rotating motor could be heard.

Damn. A new drone was following.

“Let me go! Let me be!” Laurent shouted and grabbed Damen’s hand. “You knew nothing about who I am! I am escaping from your grip.”

“You foolish ungrateful little Boy! Don’t forget about me, I am the one who made you to this who you are now. Without me you would be dead.” His uncle’s voice was aggressive and panic shot into Laurent’s body.

He could feel Damen tighten his grip around his hand and stroking calmly his thumb over his back of the hand.

He is with him.

His uncle won’t harm him anymore as long as Damen is with him.

And without Damen, he thought, he would never found the courage to rebel against his uncle.

Never would he ever have upset himself to cut the strings of his puppeteer.

“You will never own me again!”

He shot again at the drone and escaped through another door with Damen.

Never again.

*

Laurent had taken Damen by the hand again and ran off, straight ahead as they reached another door.

Damen hoped that they would finally get out of here, he just wanted to rest. The whole running had been more exhausting than he expected it to be and he doesn’t like that feeling of it that much. He had better stamina, usual, he knew that. Laurent opened the door and walked outside with him.

Cool autumn air approached them and Damen breathed it deep into his lungs. Laurent had let go of his hand and had stepped one step forward on the deserted street, around them was everything in ruins and one could only guess that there was once a city here. Arles, to be clear.

“You think you’re strong and you can’t be broken”, Damen heard Laurent saying, “But your empire is dissolving! You thought we were weak? But you misunderstood us.” Laurent lifted his head to the sky. “Look into our eyes, we are defectors!”

Damen couldn’t help but smiling at him. Laurent turned to him, his blue eyes suddenly seemed so much more alive and he joyfully stretched his arms out into the air.

“Free! Yeah, I’m free from your incitement. You can’t keep brainwashing me!” Laurent called out these words happily and so strong, he laughed heartily, “You have a real problem now, because I’m free! You can’t control me, I’m a defector!”

He lowered his head again and grinned happily at Damen, his eyes were so full of life, Damen didn’t know when he last saw Laurent like that.

“Yes Laurent, we are free, free of it”, Damen agreed with him. Laurent could no longer hold back the tears of joy; he stormed towards Damen, running happily into his arms. Damen caught him and lifted him up; Laurent wrapped his legs around his hips and held on to his broad shoulders. He leaned against him and kissed him tenderly and lovingly.

  
Their kiss was full of happiness, joy and new hope.

Damen loved it. He loved the taste of this beautiful breathtaking kiss they share in this moment.

“Damen. Their blood is all blue, their mind has turned green and their belly is all yellow. They think their throne is too high to be overthrown but you know what? We’ll raze them to the ground! They are razed by defectors!” Laurent seemed so determined when he said that and Damen nodded in agreement. “We’ll show them how easy they will go down now; but first we should see that we get away from here and look for a hiding place to rest.”

“You’re right, he won’t waiting too long to send his helpers after us.”

Laurent gave him one last kiss and then jumped down to the floor from Damen, took his hand again and went ahead.

Damen couldn’t believe it himself. They were free. They were both free now.

They can’t be brainwashed anymore.

And even nicer was the thought of knowing that this man, Laurents Uncle, now had a big problem to deal with.

They were free. Both of them. Together. Just like back then.

They were free from this society and they couldn’t longer be controlled.

They were now defectors.

After a long walk they finally entered a dilapidated building, the cellar should still be reasonably intact, Laurent said at least. They could set up a camp for one night and think about the next steps in peace. Damen was sure that Laurent was already fifty steps ahead in his head how they would go against his Uncle.

But Damen was for now just happy to got a little rest, the last days… weeks, were exhausting for him. He was glad to rest a little and that he had Laurent by his side. Safe and sound with him.

However, Damen was torn from his thoughts and Laurent pulled him the last steps down and pressed him against the wall, which somewhat surprised Damen. And even more he was surprised when Laurent put his lips on Damens and kissed him passionately and slightly rough. Not that Damen had a big problem with this but it was a bit unfamiliar from Laurent to take the lead like this. Damen kissed him back and smiled into it as he remembered something back; he put his arms loosely around Laurents hips and stroking over his lower back.

“Do you remember when we hid when all this started and we wanted to start a resistance?” Damen asked against his lips.

Laurent grinned. “Yeah, I actually remember that. You slept with me afterwards.”

“It was our first night together; in spite of all the things around us it was truly beautiful. Just like you.”

“Oh, Shut up.” Laurent blushed slightly.

“Never.”

Laurent kissed him again. That was a more pleasant way to be silenced, Damen thought to himself. He tugged Laurents shirt out of his trousers a little impatiently, thus giving him a clear sign. Laurent noted this and pulled it over his head, than he tugged on the belt from Damen and open it with trembling fingers.

Damen sighed aroused into the kiss.

He wanted him so badly. They still might have just one more night together; it calls back in his head.

That one night they were free.

Where they couldn’t be brainwashed again.

Where they were free from society.

Where they couldn’t be controlled anymore.

Free.

They were defectors now.

*

Laurent had his head embedded in Damens lap and slept peacefully. Damen had given him his vest as a blanket and gently stroked his back. Laurent had earned his sleep after all; he was at least as exhausted and done as Damen was, if not more. Damen leaned his head against the stone wall behind him and closed his eyes for a moment, breathing deeply in relieved.

How could they have gotten into so much trouble? Getting out of it seemed so impossible… It still seems so impossible, they weren’t quite out of it yet, they still had a lot do and they still had to fight because the oppression was still going on.

Damen hoped that Laurent could fight against this brain conditioning and he didn’t fall back into his old pattern of a human drone as soon as they continued fighting. He knew it was for a revolt against his uncle, he knew Laurent wasn’t that much brainwashed but he still worries that it could affect him. It wasn’t like this that Damen was afraid of Laurent in that moment but it was difficult for him to see how predictable Laurent was in those moments.

Their momentary freedom was just a loan, driven by machines and drones in this broken world, they captured them in their eyes but soon they would control only what they would have left.

Damen opened his eyes again as he felt Laurent moving a little, looking down at him to see if he had woken up but Laurent was still sleeping calmly, just cuddling closer to his thigh and putting his arm over Damens legs. Damen smiled lovingly at him and stroked his head.

You’ve got strength, you’ve got soul. You’ve felt pain, you’ve felt love. You can grow; you can make this world what you want. You can revolt. You've got strength, you've got soul, Damen thought to himself and stroked with his thumb over Laurents temple when he was torn from his thoughts.

From outside a loud thunder sounded. Laurent also seemed to wake up from it and was slightly startled; he sat up and looked confused to Damen.

“Did you hear the distant thunder?” He asked quietly.

“Yes. But it didn’t really sound like a thunder, don’t you think?” Damen replied thoughtful. Laurent listened again more closely and indeed, the thunder was too regular and sounded too mechanical.

“What if my Uncle sent something for us? What if they came here and found us?” Laurent said and started to panic slightly. Damen tries to calm him down, stroking his upper arms slowly and murmured, “I don’t think that this loud sound of war drums against us would be the style of your Uncle.”

“Right… You’re right.” Laurent nodded and stood up slowly, Damen did the same and took his vest back and put it on while Laurent put his gun back.

“Let’s have a look but carefully.”

Damen nodded.

Together they sneaked up the stairs and past the wall in the hallway to the outside, Laurent had gone ahead and Damen stayed close behind him. The rumbling became louder as they got closer to the street outside and Damen could swear that he could taste the blood and hunger of the earth as he inhaled. Thick fog build up in the doorframe into the decayed house, it was as if they were living in a poisonous jungle.  
  


“Don’t tell me you can’t see it”, Laurent said when he looked out and pulled on Damen sleeves, confused, he stepped behind him and looked out as well.

“I can see it too.” A smile spread on his lips.

On the street were a bunch of people, most of them Damen knew from back then when the whole thing had started. The group was loud. They were fighting. Fighting for their freedom.

Towards them three transporter and some Drone trying to reach them.

Damen looked to Laurent, who put his hand in front of his mouth and tried to hold back his tears. “I’m sorry, I really don’t cry that often”, he said apologetically and Damen put a hand on his shoulder, saying, “It’s okay, I can understand this.”

Damen squeezed his shoulder gently and said encouragingly, “Let’s go outside, let’s go to them.”

“I can’t… Not after everything that happened. I betrayed them to fight alone against my Uncle after you left”, Laurent then confessed to him.

Damens gaze become soft and he turned Laurent gently to himself, looking into his eyes.

“I can feel your pain. I can feel your confusion. I see you’re trapped in a maze, so let’s find a way to escape. Together. We can do it. And they’re going to help us. I knew that. Jord is loyal towards you and so are Paschal and Lazar. We started this together long time ago, let’s finish this together.”

Laurent smiled weakly and looked up to Damen, “Thanks. Without you… I don’t know where I’d be and I’m afraid to find it out.”

“I’ll stay with you, come on out with us.”

Laurent nodded and they both ran out onto the street, to join the group of freedom fighter.

They were easily spotted by Jord, who smiled at them happy and said, “You both are alive? Its so good to see you again!”

“Yes we are. I am so glad to see you all again”, Laurent said relieved and hugged Jord back.

“It’s good to have you both back”, said Paschal with a friendly smile.

“I won’t interrupt our heartwarming meeting but… there are drones coming for us and they are pretty near now. So would you please fight with me!” Lazar shouted at them and aimed his weapon against the upcoming Drones and Transporters.

Laurent reached for his gun and Damen prepared himself for a near-fight, because he got no weapon with him and his knife he had with him was put away by Laurents Uncle.

“We have honestly given our best to fight our way through this but freedom fighters have it really not that easy here as you know, especially after your uncle seems very angry”, Jord briefly explained the situation to them.

“Maybe it’s because I ran off with Damen. I tried to revolt in a different way and unfortunately didn’t get very far with it”; Laurent told him.

Jord nodded in understanding. “Now we can try it together again. As a group.”

Laurent and Damen smiled at them.

“Let’s do this”, they both said.

Together they have strength, they have soul.

They’re not afraid, they’re not drones.

They can grow, they can make the world what they want.

You can revolt.

We can revolt!  
  


*

Days, weeks, maybe months had passed in which the small group fought back the drones.

The war was everywhere on the streets and omnipresent for the group, they had come this far, but they were tired of fighting.

They were used up and nobody could really hide it anymore.

Laurent had just one goal in mind, his uncle's headquarters. He knew that this senseless war could only be ended if his uncle died.

And Laurent also knew that he was the only one who could do this.

Laurent took a deep breath. It was late at night and slowly there was silence, the fighting noises had stopped and the small group, now consisting of a few more followers, was in a basement of a building to rest there for the next long day consisting of endless battles against drones, which would never stop while Laurent's uncle was still alive.

And Laurent had made up his mind to end it alone; he was the only one who could take on his uncle. It was his mission, his all alone.

He knew this since the beginning, since the absolution, since their resistance. Since the drones.

So he got up and sneaked out of the basement, up the stairs, he looked over his shoulder one last time and looked at his sleeping companions. Back to his sleeping lover.

A sad smile formed on his lips.

He has to go now.

He had to show strength for all of them. For Damen.

They were all that was real and Laurent had to pay his debt somehow and that was the only way he could do it, after all the pain he caused under the brainwash from his uncle.

*

Laurent found his way fairly quickly through the broken streets to his uncle's headquarters. He pushed the door open and was clearly expected.

His uncle was sitting on his big black leather armchair and turned to face him, his hands clasped and a false smile on his lips.

"I knew you would come back," said his uncle.

Laurent shook his head, "Shut up."

"Oh? No, my dear nephew, you are listening to me now, you know that you were never really loved by him, you were always betrayed. Even from him who always said that he would protect you and love you. Where is he now Hm? Where is he?"

Laurent looked at him seriously, “Don't talk about him like that! I left him behind, I don't want to lose him again, that's why he's not here. “

"He doesn't know, I suppose?" His uncle continued.

Laurent nodded painfully.

"So you're leaving him unprotected? Foolish of you."

"What do you want from me?"

"What I want from you? Nothing. You failed, you know, I was able to give you everything. Power, strength and control. You didn't want to accept any of that, ungrateful child! You could have been the commander of all this, built your own world, and freed yourself from all your previous beliefs,” his uncle continued toxically.

Laurent didn't try to listen, he knew that a small part of him was still too much to be triggered by it and believed his uncle's word but he couldn't let that happen. Not now.

“There is no country left to love and cherish, it is gone. You know it's gone for good. A trillion memories persist, space and time for more and more. You just wanted, you just needed to be loved my poor little nephew.”

Laurent took a deep breath; he couldn't let it get too close to him. He just wasn't allowed to. He turned his gaze to his uncle and opened his mouth when the door behind him opened and a voice sounded, “He was loved, he is still loved. Honestly loved.”

Laurent turned and looked at Damen, who came through the door. Nobody followed him, he was here alone.

"Damen," breathed Laurent softly. "Why?"

But Damen ignored him. He continued to approach his uncle, walking past Laurent, who didn't understand what this was all about.

"Killed by drones, my parents were killed by drones; my brother was killed by drones, we all lost people in this senseless war. Why? Why the whole thing and why drag Laurent to his side? Our life has been in your hands for years, can you feel anything at all? Are you already dead inside?” Damen took a deep breath, “I know what your plan is, let Laurent go, leave him in peace. Take me instead, you can kill me.”

Laurent gasped. "Damen, why? No, don't do that. Damen! ”

Damen turned to him and smiled soflty. Loving. “For your life, I am willing to do it. You have already suffered too much pain; you should be allowed to be free.”

Laurent's eyes widened and he saw his uncle rise behind Damen and smile, holding something in his hand, but Laurent couldn't see exactly what it was.

He saw something out of the corner of his eye, a red beam of light. A crosshair, it was aimed at the chest of Damen and ...

"No! Damen!"

_Peng_.

Damen collapsed and went down to the floor, it was a clean shot right through his heart.

Laurent could no longer hold back the tears. No, that couldn't be true. No!

He wanted to take a step towards his lover's lifeless body when he noticed something, another crosshair that was between his eyes. He looked at his uncle in shock.

That was a trap.

No.

He had failed. He had failed Damen. He had failed his friends. He…

_Peng_.

"Amen," was the last thing he heard from his uncle before everything went still around him.


End file.
